Now it all comes clear

When I wrote about Fred Phelps and his roving band of inbreds demonstrating at the funerals of fallen soldiers around the country, I noted that several states were considering legislation to limit their protests. I did not realize at the time that Georgia was one of those states.

First, a little housecleaning. In that post, I claimed Phelps was an attention-whore. The only other explanations I’d heard at the time didn’t seem plausible to me: that he was gay and closeted (and incredibly self-loathing), or that he was just a whack-job. But none of these really made sense. Sometime shortly afterward, I stumbled across comments posted to this thread by a user named El_Camino_SS at 2006-02-21 08:34:10 AM. You can search or scroll through to find the original. A couple of excerpts from his argument (emphasis here is mine):

Fred Phelps does not believe what he is doing. This is a scam. It's a business. They travel the country, set up websites telling you exactly when they'll be there, and using the most inflammatory statements all over the place, just to get someone to violate their rights for profit. Then they sue the military, the police force that was to protect them, and everyone that is around them for money. This is a sham, and it is a trap to get people sued. Every member of his family is an attorney. Phelps does not break the law. What he does is try to make you break the law by trying to punch your sensibilities about everything you hold dear, and then sue you and everyone municipality around him to the max...

His boards are laminated on hardwood, because he pulls them out of trucks at least five times a week...

The most telling tale about all of Phelp's behavior is the schedule he keeps, and the company he keeps as well. The parties sometimes split up and go to two seperate state funerals to maximize the profitability of them. There are, at maximum, twelve members to the party. They never stay more than thirty minutes (I assume they realize that someone will do something to them the MOMENT they come out of the vans, and really, after that, they get their camera shots to cause the outrage for the next stop, and then they move on) to maximize their profits, because time is money, and really, they're not interested in the message, because they're just interested in the lawsuit....

See? It’s a brilliant ploy, and we’ve all been falling for it. And it’s even borne out by Phelps’ own words:

"I want congress to pass a law that says I can't picket so we can immediately get it to the nation's attention in one gulp,"says Fred Phelps, Pastor of Westboro Baptist Church.

Of course that’s what he wants, so he can file a fat, federal, First Amendment lawsuit. Be sure to tell all your friends.

At any rate, it concerned me that Georgia and other states were considering legislation to keep him from disrupting these funerals. It’s the price of free speech, no? But a couple of issues have changed my mind on this.

1. The Georgia bill does not prevent anyone from demonstrating. It merely creates a 500-foot buffer so that he’s kept a small distance away from the family.

2. I went back and re-read the First Amendment to see what it says. (I fully recommend that everyone partake in this exercise from time to time.) And one word in particular jumped out at me:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

His purpose is not, and has never been, peaceful. His purpose is to create a disturbance so that he can cash in.

And my purpose? To make sure everybody has heard about Debbie Valgos.