Funniest Halloween experience I’ve had in a while

I was at home Monday night handing out candy to trick-or-treaters while my other half worked late at his office.

Oh, let me interrupt myself here to deliver a PSA:

Dear trick-or-treaters,

What gives with the numbers? Do you all decide en masse to assault a new neighborhood every year? Last year, I had maybe 6 or 8 kids and calories untold left over. This year, I was blowing out pumpkins and turning off lights at 7:45 so I could make another Publix run. Could we maybe institute a reservation system, so I have an idea how much candy to purchase? Thank you.

So about 7:15 I open the door to find two little boys about 10 years old. One was dressed as a Cub Scout (I guess because the outfit was already hanging in his closet). The other was dressed as a hillbilly: checked shirt, straw hat, overalls, the works. Hillbilly is carrying a plush Donkey (from the Shrek movies) and a plastic machete. When I open the door, Cub Scout yells “Trick Or Treat!!”

At that moment, Hillbilly held the knife up to the Donkey's throat and yelled "STAND BACK!! I'VE GOT A HOSTAGE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT!!!"

That boy’s gonna need therapy.